Hi, I'm Andrew.
Most people call me Couch.
Like the furniture.
It never fails.
Native North Carolinian,
born and bred,
trying his luck on the west coast.
I share my apartment with a dog named Blue.
Sometimes I force him to hang out with me.
If I can catch him.
A young man on the street once called me, quote,
"the fastest person he's ever seen" as I ran to catch a bus one morning.
I did not catch the bus.
I'm in the background of a scene in Patch Adams.
99% sure.
*See exhibit A below.
Like the furniture.
It never fails.
Native North Carolinian,
born and bred,
trying his luck on the west coast.
I share my apartment with a dog named Blue.
Sometimes I force him to hang out with me.
If I can catch him.
A young man on the street once called me, quote,
"the fastest person he's ever seen" as I ran to catch a bus one morning.
I did not catch the bus.
I'm in the background of a scene in Patch Adams.
99% sure.
*See exhibit A below.
*exhibit A
I'm 6'5",
so I'm highly skilled at reaching tall shelves and cabinets in the office.
...unless there's a 6'6" person there - then I'm pretty much useless.
UNC basketball is a religion to me,
and Duke represents all that is unholy.
Blessed be the Tar Heels.
I held the record for eating a 64 oz. hamburger in the fastest time
at a now-closed burger establishment in Greensboro, NC.
My reward: indigestion.
I once hiked 165 miles of the Appalachian Trail over 19 days,
sleeping under a tarp and shitting in the woods.
It wasn't entirely on purpose.
I toast evenly on both sides,
I'm a good source of protein,
and I'm part of a well-balanced breakfast.
I will forever claim to have coined the term
"Redonkulous" as a five year old on the playground in 1990.
I can't prove anything.
I'm 6'5",
so I'm highly skilled at reaching tall shelves and cabinets in the office.
...unless there's a 6'6" person there - then I'm pretty much useless.
UNC basketball is a religion to me,
and Duke represents all that is unholy.
Blessed be the Tar Heels.
I held the record for eating a 64 oz. hamburger in the fastest time
at a now-closed burger establishment in Greensboro, NC.
My reward: indigestion.
I once hiked 165 miles of the Appalachian Trail over 19 days,
sleeping under a tarp and shitting in the woods.
It wasn't entirely on purpose.
I toast evenly on both sides,
I'm a good source of protein,
and I'm part of a well-balanced breakfast.
I will forever claim to have coined the term
"Redonkulous" as a five year old on the playground in 1990.
I can't prove anything.
